Seriously, when did "y'all" suddenly become the cool "it" thing to say? I'm fine with people from the south saying it. But suddenly I'm seeing people from Ohio and New Jersey using it, and THEN the other day my "friend" from CONNECTICUT was on Facebook saying "y'all" in her posts. WTF? This is the same girl that claimed New England (NEW ENGLAND, y'all) as the heartland of America - seriously? Everyone knows that the heartland of America is the MIDWEST. She also claimed that Connecticut has the BEST pizza in the United States. CONNECTICUT! Now I don't wanna get in the Chicago vs. New York pizza debate (Chicago), but I know that the best pizza doesn't come from fucking Connecticut for fuck's sake. Is Connecticut even a legitimate state? It's small, no one knows how to spell it right, it doesn't really have a city, or probably even an airport...but I digress....My point is that this girl has hi-jacked "y'all" in her lexicon.
IS NOTHING SACRED???
I am from Georgia. In fact I have lived here my entire life. Now, that doesn't mean I'm a big redneck or anything (although Freebird is my favorite song...) in fact I BARELY even have an accent. However, I do enjoy saying "y'all". And I loved how it was my native southerner word. It was like my badge since I don't have an accent to indicate my origin. And now, suddenly, there's all these Damn Yankees (yeah I said it...and remember I'm not a redneck) going around using MY word like it's "cool beans" or something. UGH!
Soooooo....I'm here to say I'm taking "y'all" back and from now on if you use it I'm gonna ask for your social security card to verify you're from the south. Now, you may ask, "How will that verify it?" Well, I figured out a long time ago that the first number of your SSN tells which state you were born in. Mine is 2 that equals Georgia. But, then a few months ago, my Filipino mother-in-law told me her SSN and it started with a 2 also. I figure that it's probably because Georgia is such a welcoming and generous state that when she became a citizen Georgia was like, "Aw shucks, you don't need to worry about bein' mistooken for a yankee or nuthin - you just take this here Social Security number and have yourself a fine life..."
Because Georgia is awesome. Y'all.
Okay, I guess the whole social security number thing won't work out too well. Besides, it will probably be pretty sketchy for me to be creeping around asking people for their social security number....
How about this compromise: if you are going to use the word "y'all" then you give up your right to make fun of our southern customs...like sleeping with our cousins (hardy-har-har...major eye roll...) No! Like how we stay home from work and school at the slightest threat of snow. Because the truth is, Mr. New Jersey, YOU want to stay home too. Also, we call all carbonated beverages "Coke" - it doesn't matter what it is - it's all Coke to us. Um...and don't order Pepsi in the south EVER. Pepsi is for Yankees and communists - as my sister would say - none of which you want to claim. Oh, and barbecue describes...well, barbecue. Don't you dare call a cook-out a barbecue. If you're not serving yummy ribs and pulled pork covered in delicious barbecue sauce then it is NO barbecue. It's called "grilling out". You got that "Left Coasters"???Phew! Now that I got THAT out of the way - if you can't handle all of our
But if you can embrace them...well then y'all are welcome to use "y'all" as much as y'all would like (see Southern hospitality really does exist)!