Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Things I Know

TTC - Trying To Conceive

OT - Ovulation Test

BT - Basal Temperature

BFN - Big Fat Negative

BFP - Big Fat Positive

OT - Ovulation Test

AF - Aunt Flo

These are terms I wish I didn't know. They define the struggle to conceive. Women write these terms on message boards in hopes that their sore boobs and irritability are an early symptom of pregnancy and not a sign of PMS. Last year I was apart of this group.

How many times did I Google, "Early pregnancy signs"? Too many to count.

How many times was it PMS? Every time.

Except once. Surprisingly, that was the one time I didn't take to the internet to analyze my sore boobs.

When I was in school and Sex Ed was taught they made it seem that if you kissed a boy AND he had his hand on your boob YOU WOULD GET PREGNANT.


They also taught us that you could get pregnant while on your period.


You could get pregnant while dancing. While singing. If your mom was pregnant! If you used the same toilet as your pregnant neighbor. Pregnant! It's everywhere! Like a virus spreading wildly - watch out!

It's all bullshit.

I now know that there is basically 12-24 hours each month that the stars align and you can get pregnant. Most hit this at day 14 in their cycle. I hit mine on day 18. It's better to try before your "magic day" hits because sperm can live in your body for a few days. Yeah. That's not creepy AT ALL.

If you wait 'til after your "magic day" you're screwed.

Getting pregnant is not as easy as they teach in the schools.

So sleep around girls!


Gimme a break. I have five followers.

Thanks to nature I count my life in weeks.

Casey does a good job of explaining it here.

I'm an expert stick pee-er. I've got the technique down.

Pregnancy Test Sticks?


Ovulation Test Sticks?


This week I'm going to buy a new pack of ovulation test sticks.

I'm finally ready to start peeing again.

I mean trying again.

Wish me luck.


  1. Rock on!
    The best quote I ever read was in a book about loss - miscarriage, stillbirth, infant death...
    It said, "You know you're ready to try again when your faith in the future is greater than your fear of the future."
    Go forth and make babies, girl!

  2. Best wishes, here's to positive peeing.

  3. Thanks y'all!

    Jana - Thanks so much for the quote. It is right on!

  4. I'll raise a glass this weekend in hopes of successful procreation. OK, several glasses (hopefully that won't cause you to have octuplets)!

  5. Now you have 6 followers. GOOD LUCK!

  6. @LAB - Um, yeah. Don't be wishing octuplets on me - I'm not an over achiever! If I had multiples I would have to get a Gosselin bitch sneer or an Octo-mom-Angelina pout and, frankly, I don't have the inclination to get either!

    @Mrs. - Welcome! Hell yeah! Did you get a balloon drop and confetti spray for being the lucky 6th? If you didn't I'm gonna have to beat somebody DOWN!